A "Dear John" Letter

Dear Mountain Dew,

We have become quite close over the years. I have enjoyed your company in good times and in bad times. You have given me a boost when I've needed it and you truthfully are quite sweet. In the recent days, however, I have grown to realize that our relationship is truly quite unhealthy. My relationship with you has become quite addictive. I look to you too often and when I wasn't looking (or paying attention), you began to affect me. My heart begins to race when I'm with you-and that, my friend, isn't a good thing. Our relationship just doesn't feel good anymore. I've tried to leave you before and it hasn't worked. This time, I have to leave you for good. You see, my high-fructose teeming friend, this addiction must end and we must say goodbye. It will be hard-caffeine withdrawel is unbearable, but it is necessary. Parting is such sweet sorrow but I'd rather part with you now than with toes later.

With Deep Affection,
amommyonadiet